I was never a relationship kind of gal. In fact, I’ve spent all my puberty alone dreaming about some random prince charming *ehm ehm Chris Pine ehm ehm* or some random pretty guy that had no idea I existed in school. Reality? Duh, who had time for that. After high school, I started university and *THANK YOU* started hanging out more often with guys. At first, now know what? I hated it. I just felt so obviously out of place every single time that I had to say something or to do something (probably thanks to my awful clumsiness) to just somehow please the guy in front of me or avoid some awkward silence. Then I had a fix relationship for a few years, broke up and started again to enjoy my freedom. Little I knew that the guy that I was about to get with would have been the one that I would awfully fall in love with.
Now, I know that sharing these kind of information on internet is somehow scary because its personal, right? Well I don’t care because probably many girls like me experienced this situation and I think is important to share what I’ve learned along the road:
Me-time is SACRED.
The beautiful thing of being in a relationship is that you want to spend as much time as possible with the person that you love, but at the same time one of the biggest dangers is that you loose yourself.
That is what happened to me last year. I still lived alone (and I still gladly do) but in fact, I was hardly ever by myself. This lead me slowly to abandon my previous routines, whatever that was: running, filming a video, studying alone. Don’t get me wrong I was happy and am grateful to have love in my life but somehow I started loosing myself. By loosing my self my self esteem started slowly to go down and somehow I started being unhappy with the life that I had. The person that I was with had nothing to do with it, it was me that I just couldn’t say: Ok, now I will go somewhere alone and do my things. The moment that I realized that something in me changed and I understood:
You can’t be happy in a relationship if you are not happy & fulfilled when you are by yourself.
Me-time is what makes you reconcile with your independence. And why is that important? Because only by being alone and looking into yourself you will understand what makes you happy and what does not. That you cannot always do by being together with your beloved one: everyone needs some time alone, so do you. Being alone can be hard at the beginning but after a while it will feel liberating. It will allow you to get quickly done all the things that you have had laying around, will increase your creativity because you will connect again with yourself and even thou, at first, you are going to miss your beloved one, later you are going to be happy that you had time for yourself.
Getting some distance will allow you to understand who you really are, cherish friendships will nurture your spirit and you will come back even happier to your relationship because that’s what a relationship is: two individuals who love each other.